lievob

been thinking about you, your records are here
your eyes are on my wall, your teeth are over there
but i'm still no one, and now you're a star
what do you care? 

been thinking about you, and there's no rest
shit, i still love  you, still see you in bed
but i'm playing with myself, and what do you care
when the other men are far, far better

all the things you've got
all the things you need
who bought you cigarettes
who bribed the company to come and see you, honey? 

I've been thinking about you, so how can you sleep?
these people aren't your friends, they're paid to kiss your feet
they don't know what I know and why should you care
when I'm not there

goodbye summer
goodbye meghan
goodbye cupcake
goodbye endless hours of nothing to do except lounge around and knit and watch true blood and freaks & geeks
goodbye!
goodbye

but it's not really goodbye, now is it? 

My cleaning lady just told me not to get in trouble in college. That's doable for me. I'm kind of worried that my roommates are going to be real party girls. I haven't really figured out my stance towards drugs/alcohol yet. I don't like parties. I like doing some of those illegal-type things with the people I love (Sam/Meghan/Max etc) but I don't really see the point in going to a party just to get super super drunk and then doing things you regret and then vomiting and feeling like you got hit by a truck the next day. I got nervous that Ithaca was going to make it onto the list of the top 20 party schools, but thankfully it didn't. I'm accepting where I'm going to school more and more every day, it's still not exactly the place I wanted to end up, but I have good roommates (I think), good classes, and a good room. I'm going to try to be really active, I want to join the Ithaca Stitch n' Bitch even though I just just started knitting, the sign language club, Buzzsaw, etc. I've got plans and I'm going to see them through, and maybe I'll befriend some of the people in substance-free housing, even though that option never really appealed to me. I don't want to completely cut my options, but I want to meet people whose lives don't revolve around partying. 

Cape Cod next week, I'm excited for it for once, even though I wish I could bring more people up with me. But Sam will be with me, and Peter for a few days, and it will be good. Bonfires and seal chasing and whale watching and bike riding. And ice cream eating.